were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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