My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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