I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
