Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
