I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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