I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
