Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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