Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
