Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
