wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
