So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He passed out mid-signature
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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