Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
