Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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