yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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