I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
