after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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