You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
