They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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