I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
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