Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
