She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
