bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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