If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
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