Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
