I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
