i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
