I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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