Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I cut my penus on the lid.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
