Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
