ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
