i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
PANTIES FOUND
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