i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
