I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
