I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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