I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize