What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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