she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
