and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
