Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
