And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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