all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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