Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My bed smells like the plague
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
