Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
