Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
