You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
