I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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