I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i already hear my dad disowning me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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