We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
