? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i think my tv is drunk
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
