Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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