Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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