i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
