Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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