Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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