gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I currently don't understand fingers.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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