So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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